Ultimate Scheming System

What the?

Xu Que froze in shock.

I’m here again? Fuck. This is my first time here! And I don’t want anything! I was just passing through!

"Hu hu..." Beyond the door, into the depths of darkness, rustling sounds which sounded like a spirit crying and a wolf howling rang out!

Xu Que frowned before he shouted out, "Cry, are you crying because you’re mentally retarded? Do you believe that I will use my unicorn hands to slap you to death?"

"What the hell do you want now?" The angry voice rang out once again from the darkness.

"I don’t want anything!"

Xu Que was rather irritated at this. Obviously, this was his first time here and he didn’t even get to act tough before someone came around making it seem as though he had bullied them before.

"Then what the hell do you want?"

"I truly don’t want anything!"

"The last time, I gave you everything. What the hell do you still want now?"

"Fuck! You come out now!"

"What the hell do you still want from me?"

"Damned retarded cripple, COME OUT NOW!" Xu Que was enraged as he sent our waves of core energy rippling out.

"What the hell do you still want from me?" A voice rang out from within the darkness.

Xu Que managed to locate the source of the voice with the immense wave of energy.

The powerful core strength transformed into a gigantic hand and pinned him to the ground, all in the dark.

"Boom!"

Xu Que charged towards the voice and lashed out, punching and kicking as soon as he reached it.

"Fuck your sister!"

"What I still want?"

"What the hell do I want?"

"Do you think you’re a movie star? Repeat that rubbish again! Ask me what the hell do I want again!"

"Boom! Boom! Boom!"

"Ah... Aiya!!!" Screams of pain rang out from within the shadows.

Xu Que was scolding out harsly as he dealt several punches and kicks in the dark, causing groans of agony to sound out.

The beatings only stopped after the person lurking within the shadows wisened up and shouted, "I was wrong, senior. I was wrong!"

Xu Que’s eyebrows were raised as he paused and let go of the shadow as he laughed out, "So you can say more than just ‘what the hell do you want?’"

At the same time, the black shadow started taking on a clearer form.

Xu Que squinted to see what it was before reaching an understanding.

This was a spirit. After he had died, something unknown happened to him which caused him to remain in this world and yet he was unable to leave this Imperial Tombs.

The black shadow retreated to the side gingerly after Xu Que had let go of him, and spoke out apologetically, "Senior, I was wrong!"

"Eh?" Xu Que looked at him and was taken aback.

At the corner wasn’t just one black shadow. In fact, there were dozens of spirits huddling at the side and they were all trembling in fear.

Xu Que was extremely confused. There were so many spirits. Why were they here? And it even seemed like they recognized me?

He then asked out warily, "Do you know who I am?"

The few spirits at the shadows shrank back into the corner and didn’t dare to speak. All they could muster was the "woowooo" sounds.

Only the spirit which Xu Que had beaten up earlier stepped forward and spoke, "Although we are unable to see how this senior looks like, we can recognize your powerful aura. All these hundreds of years, you were the only person who stepped in here and managed to walk out alive. How could we not know?"

They definitely could remember. Many years ago, that senior cultivator came here and caused havoc. Likewise, he grabbed one of them and started beating him savagely, scaring all of them senseless.

Xu Que then asked them several more questions and found out that the senior cultivator who had came previously was looking for a particular treasure within the Imperial Tomb. He was searching for a Luminous Grail which was unique in this world and there was only one around. It’s use was that it would glow at night- that was all.

The ghosts started weeping and sobbing as they told the previous senior, "If you wanted to look for the Luminous Grail, all you had to do was ask. Why did you come and beat us? It really hurt, senior!"

At last, every single spirit within the Imperial Tombs were activated to seek out that Luminous Grail and handed it to him. Only after much convincing and persuasion did they finally manage to make the senior leave the tombs.

Never would they have expected that even before a hundred years was up, the mighty aura of the senior cultivator showed up once again. This thoroughly terrified the spirits here and thus led to the recent spade of events.

"Aura?" Xu Que listened eagerly to the spirits before finally realizing what they meant.

He cast his glance down at the jade tile which was glowing and giving off a powerful aura.

No wonder. This jade tile was supposed to give off energy and light at places where negative energy was strong. These spirits probably remembered the aura of the jade tile and mistook him for the previous trespasser.

Ai, that’s not right. That means to say, a hundred years ago, that old senior came here and managed to leave alive?

Xu Que regained his senses and was astounded.

That old senior was so powerful? He snuck in without anyone realizing just to look for a bullshit glowing cup and nobody found out?

Fuck! Looks like I was right to not have gotten into a fight with him. If not, I probably would’ve gotten beaten up savagely!

Xu Que gasped in relief as he thought to himself before shooting a glance at the spirits, "Since you’ve already recognized me, fine. Let’s do it the same way. I shan’t beat you up if you help me with a few errands!"

"Senior, please ask away!" The spirits didn’t even listen to his requests yet and eagerly promised to do it.

Xu Que touched his chin and scanned his surroundings before speaking, "The first thing, tell me how you’ve survived up to this point."

This was an important question. These spirits cultivation levels were extremely low but they were able to survive up to now. By this logic, it was possible that the spirits of the previous Fire Nations Emperors were still around. Xu Que had to make preparations in case they were!

"Ah?" Indeed, as soon as the spirits heard this request, they looked at each other with expressions of of confusion. Their eyes spoke of suspicions and doubt, as though they themselves didn’t know the answer to this question!

"What? You don’t even know how you’ve survived up till now?" Xu Que glared at them and raised his voice to appear angry.

The spirit who was beaten up by Xu Que earlier waved his hands, "Senior, we really can’t remember. Most of our memories in our earlier lives had already gone. Some of us can’t even remember how to speak."

"Then do you know what your name is?" Xu Que asked suspiciously.

The spirit scratched the back of his head before shaking it, "Forgot... I forgot it! Senior, can you give us names?"

Xu Que looked at them and was certain that they weren’t lying and had no choice but to agree, "Alright then. Since you’ve been so sincere, I shall give you names. The names you shall receive must be extremely cool!"

He looked around at the few spirits standing before him and started to ponder hard. After all, they were spirits of the Fire Nations. Alright then.

At this point, he pointed at the first spirit and shouted out, "You shall be Kim Fatty, you shall be Kim Fatty Two. You shall be Kim Fatty Three... Gulp, That name is already taken. Alright, you shall be Kim Fatty Two Plus One or Kim Fatty One Plus Two! Take your pick!"

(T/N: Kim Jong Un’s name in chinese is Jin San Pang which sounds like Kim Fatty Three.)

Kim Fatty Two Plus One?

Kim Fatty One Plus Two?

The spirit were all stumped. What kind of stupid name are these? Is there a difference between Kim Fatty Two Plus One and Kim Fatty One Plus Two? Isn’t 2+1 the same as 1+2? Why don’t you just call him Kim Fatty Three?

Also...

"Senior, I... We... Aren’t very fat as well!"

"I like these names and they shall be fixed! Forget about it, don’t think about it anymore. You lot look really stupid when you think! The reason I gave you two names is because I favor you. In the future, your name shall be Kim Fatty Two Plus One and your last name shall be Kim Fatty One Plus Two. Let’s get a nickname for you as well! We shall call you... Kim Fatty Fat Fat!"

"Gulp... Many thanks senior for the names and... For your favor!" The spirit didn’t dare to say more and nodded his head and bowed.

Xu Que waved his hands as though he brushed it of, "Alright, that shall do then. The second matter. I wish to search for the Fire Emperor’s coffins. And also the location of the Dragon Veins."

"Fire Emperor? Senior, you... Are you going to look for those few evil and vicious people?" Kim Fatty Two Plus One was taken aback, his face was filled with fear.

"What? Should I be afraid of them?" Xu Que raised his voice once again.

To be frank, it was true that he was afraid. But if all that’s left of those Emperors are spirits, he wouldn’t be afraid. The best way to deal with spirits, would be to use Monkey Blocks Lightning!

Kim Fatty Two Plus One hurriedly nodded his head, "Senior, we know where those evil men are. But there’s no way to get there. Besides, I have no idea why, but we heard them shouting out in anger earlier. We cannot afford to mess around with them!"

"What rubbish. Do you know why they were screaming out today? It’s because their grandson was being beaten savagely by me and now I’m here for them. Please cut the crap and take me there now!" Xu Que spoke out as he picked up Kim Fatty Two Plus One and threw him forward, flying a great distance.